“Stop the Insanity!”
“Stop the Insanity!”
If you are 45 or older, you likely remember Susan Powter, a fitness guru from the early 90s whose famous catch phrase was directed at the (even then) out of control diet and fitness industry messaging.
Side note: Media has been on a binge for decades…
Her core message was: “Stop the insanity of fad diets, extreme exercise programs, and body shaming.”
Our research department over at ChatGPT summarized it like this:
In a nutshell, Powter's message was part rebellion, part common sense: Stop punishing yourself, start treating your body with respect, and don’t buy into the lies of the diet industry.
In a very real sense, Susan differentiated herself from all the media hype of the day and got back to basics.
One could even say she was a “well-differentiated leader” in her industry.
According to Edwin Friedman in A Failure of Nerve, a well-differentiated leader is someone who is clear about their own values and vision, can stay calm under pressure, and is able to take decisive action—without being reactive to the anxiety of others.
They maintain a strong sense of self while staying connected to others, even when facing resistance or sabotage.
He went on to define the five key traits of a well-differentiated leader. They:
Are Self-Defined
They know who they are, what they stand for, and where they’re going. They aren’t looking for constant validation or direction from others.
Are a Non-Anxious Presence
In a crisis or emotionally charged situation, they don’t get swept up in the anxiety. Instead, they act as a calming force, not by controlling others, but by managing their own reactivity.
Resist Emotional Triangles
Rather than getting caught in gossip, blame, or triangulation, they encourage direct communication and personal responsibility.
Take Stands, Not Sides
They’re willing to make tough decisions and hold their ground, even if it means facing resistance. They lead with conviction, not consensus.
Promote Health by Modeling It
They don’t try to fix or rescue everyone. Instead, by living with integrity and calm resolve, they inspire health in the system they lead—whether that’s a family, church, company, or community.
How about you? How are you doing at being a “well-differentiated leader” – particularly in trying times?
A colleague of mine shared the following Rudyard Kipling poem “IF” with me over the weekend that I think applies to this mindset:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a [well-differentiated leader]!
(edited for gender inclusivity and alignment with today’s message 😉)
Here are a couple thoughts from Scripture that may help us in this quest as well:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? . . . . Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? . . . . Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:25 – 34
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:4 – 7
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. . . . All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:7 – 18
Be well, my friends. May God grant you and I the serenity we need to “stop the insanity” as we lead others well through turbulent waters and over open seas.
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This Week’s Resource Recommendation:
“A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix”
- Edwin H. Friedman
From Amazon: An invitation and guide for leaders “to cast a courageous and imaginative vision, to lead resiliently, and to be present and steady in times of deep anxiety.
Ed Friedman’s genius was to see the individual in the family in the larger group, bringing the wisdom of his experience as a therapist and rabbi to the field of organizational leadership.
A timeless bestseller, A Failure of Nerve still astonishes in this new edition with its relevance and continues to transform the lives of leaders everywhere―business, church, family, schools―as it has for more than 20 years:
Offers prescient guide to leadership in the age of “quick fix.”
Provides ways to recognize and address organizational dysfunction.
Emphasizes “strength over pathology” in these anxious times.
“The age that is upon us requires differentiated leadership that is willing to rise above the anxiety of the masses. We need leaders who will have the ‘capacity to understand and deal effectively’ with the hive mind that is us. This is, in Friedman’s words, ‘the key to the kingdom.’ I am grateful for this accessible new edition.”
―C. Andrew Doyle, Bishop, Episcopal Diocese of Texas
“The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and the World”
- Peter Scazerro
From Amazon: Becoming a Better Leader Starts with a Transformed Inner Life
Do you feel too overwhelmed to enjoy life, unable to sort out the demands on your time? Are you doing your best work as a leader, yet not making an impact? Have you ever felt stuck, powerless to change your environment?
In The Emotionally Healthy Leader, bestselling author Peter Scazzero shows leaders how to develop a deep, inner life with Christ, examining its profound implications for surviving stress, planning and decision making, building teams, creating healthy culture, influencing others, and much more.
The Emotionally Healthy Leader contains:
Concise assessments for leaders and teams to measure their leadership health
Practical, proven strategies that have been developed over a 28-year period spent both in the local church and in equipping leaders around the world
Helpful applications of how to face your shadow, lead out of your marriage or singleness, slow down, and embrace endings for new beginnings
Going beyond simply offering a quick fix or new technique, The Emotionally Healthy Leader gets to the core, beneath-the-surface issues of uniquely Christian leadership. This book is more than just a book you will read; it is a resource you will come back to over and over again.
MMS 25-14
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